Tag: Woman

Feeling lost

On By geansworldIn lifeLeave a comment

In life, you can feel lost at times for a little bit or for a long while and it can be frustrating. Feeling lost can be the result of a lot of things and being lost is not always bad. I’m lost at this time in my life because of coming out of a break up. Break ups are hard on everyone, not just one person. You have a right to feel sad, mad, lost, and forgotten. My feelings are so all over the place because it was the first time I was in love. I fell hard and loved even harder.  I opened my heart and my life to someone and I let my walls down for the first time with a guy.  And that was one of the hardest things to do. While in the relationship I was happy, loved, and free.  But I was always learning more about myself at the time too. The relationship was beautiful and loving and a wonderful one I will hold in my heart forever. You may be wondering what happened.  Well, in relationships you grow and learn from each other and sometimes the roads you take don’t end up going in the same direction anymore. At the time I was in a relationship I was going though a lot with my mom having cancer and learning things about myself. College was coming up and so much more. I felt lost at times. I felt I wasn’t good enough or my best self and that’s not a good place to be in because it’s depressing, hard, and sad. So I asked for a break but the break ended up being a break up and to me that was a little surprising, but like I said it’s not just about one person. He had a lot going on too with work and time, and his own things to work on. I support that I’m here for him I want nothing but the best for him in life. I was sad and mad and heartbroken because it ended so fast and I fought for him but in the end I was the only one fighting and I had to let go. I am still letting go.  It’s hard, but it is life. Because climbing the mountain will be a journey and sometimes you will fall.  But trust me when I say I’m getting back up again and making it to the top because life’s a climb but the view is worth it. Life is a mountain that we are climbing in different ways and on the way to the top we go on different journeys with people, friends, and family but in the end we always make it to the top stronger and as our best selves to see the view.
I feel free, I feel loved, I feel happy. Most of all I found self love.  I forgive and I heal.  Life is long and beautiful so I am ready for more adventure.

~ Gean

This is me

On By geansworldIn lifeLeave a comment

My name is Gean.  I’m 21 and a small town girl. I love the outdoors and having the cozy sunshine on my face. I enjoy photography, reading, and going on adventures though life. I’m an old soul who has been around for awhile who has seen the most beautiful moments in life, and the saddest too. I go on. I climb the hardest mountains even when people say I don’t have any experience or I’m not gonna make it. I will always learn from my mistakes, get up, and try again because I know one day I will be at the top of that mountain.   I’ll be looking over the world and seeing what a beautiful and wonderful view it is, and what a beautiful adventure it was to get there. So never give up on your dreams, be yourself, and live life with love, peace and happiness.

What’s the meaning of this thing we call life?

On By geansworldIn life, Uncategorized1 Comment

Do you ever just have those long thoughts about why and how? Well, I do all the time, and I started wondering about how life is going now and how it was.  But it wasn’t always like this. You see, I have had a long journey from such a young age. I have experienced the good and the bad through many different eyes which not a lot of people get to do. There are 3 things I have seen that have opened my eyes in different ways. Number 1 was Happiness (remember blog of January 30, 2019).

Another of them is love, and love is a big word that can mean so much. You can love things, people, or even a time of day. I believe that love is unconditional and can spread far and wide over distance and time, but sometimes it’s harder to feel it than to say it.  As a kid I was told I was loved but I did not feel it. To me it was like oil on top of water. I knew how love felt. My cousin, who was my buddy, showed me unconditional love. She was as bright as they come. No one’s perfect but I looked up to her because she saw the world and people with eyes of love. No judgment, just love. At one point in my life I asked the person from whom I never felt love growing up if they really loved me and the answer was, “I do, but in my own way.”  It was years later I realized that she did love me the best she could for who I am.  But that’s the thing, some people see or even know love like it has a limit, or it doesn’t fit in some places. I believe love has no limitations or bounds.  It is unconditional. Thank you to the family and friends who love me for who I and and have shown me what unconditional love feels and looks like.  For that I will always treasure . I feel loved now. I know what it means to me. I love my mom, sister and my family who knows me for me, and I want to thank my amazing boyfriend for showing me love has no labels and that I do deserve love no matter what. I know how I plan to show and share my love with the world.

Labels to fit me

On By geansworldIn lifeLeave a comment

Sometimes it’s hard to find the right labels to fit me so other people can understand who I am. Society is always trying to put you in groups, or stick you under some label. I go back-and-forth with identifying as trans or intersex and I do that because not a lot of people know about intersex. I feel like saying trans will be easier for them to get it.

Intersex is a general term used for a variety of conditions in which a person is born with a reproductive or sexual anatomy that doesn’t seem to fit the typical definitions of female or male. Individuals born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, or genitals.

I’m a girl with xxy chromosomes and ovaries but no other female reproductive organs.

Sometimes it’s hard. People are always wanting to find the right label to fit them so other people can understand them but I believe you don’t need a label to know who you are and you don’t need to label yourself for other people. Live your life in love and happiness , grow and change because life is so beautiful and it’s about the journey not the destination or where you start. I am a strong woman and I know who I am. You should be proud of who you are. ~ Gean

BACON WRAPPED GREEN BEANS

On By geansworldIn Cooking2 Comments

It’s about that time of year when we plant our green beans and savor the fruit of our labor!  This dish is one of my favorites for all year round.

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb green beans, trimmed
  • 10-12 pieces of bacon (approximate)
  • 1 Tbsp oil
  • 1/2 tsp chili powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/4 tsp onion powder

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 375 F.
  2. Place the green beans in a large bowl and add all of the remaining ingredients.
  3. Toss to coat.
  4. Grab 8-10 green beans and wrap one piece of bacon around each bundle.
  5. Repeat with the remaining green beans.
  6. Bake for 20 minutes, carefully flip the bundle over, and bake for another 5-10 minutes or until and green beans are tender and bacon is crisp.

Notes:

Net Carb Count*: Bacon Wrapped Green Beans: 4.79 net carbs (per serving—serves 4).

*Carb Counts are estimated based on the products I used.  Check nutrition labels for accurate carb counts and gluten information.

 

YUM!

Finding the right ones

On By geansworldIn lifeLeave a comment
As a intersex woman, finding or getting into a relationship is a little hard at times. There are 4 types of guys I always come across. 
1.   The guy that just wants to experiment and find out what he wants, but in the meantime not really taking your feelings into consideration.
2.   The guy that wants you to be a secret or a down low relationship, and this guy is typically married or has a girlfriend. 
3.   The guy that views it as a fetish or thinks of you as a toy.
4.   Last but not least, the good guy. Now this guy is out there, but sometimes you can’t see him even if he is right in front of you.   
You’ve been though all the other guys so now you just believe all guys are the same. Or you have a really specific type.  That is all good, but nobody is perfect and you are probably never going to find the right guy that has 100% of everything you want and need. If you do find that guy he is either pretending or hiding something.
But… if you do find the ultimate guy of your dreams, good for you girl!  And like can you help a sister out here?  
I think everyone goes through challenges when getting or finding that person to connect with no matter the gender, race and so on.  Just at the end of the day, don’t sacrifice parts of yourself to get the guy, or try to make someone like you.   Because we are all perfect as we are no matter what.