Oh! You thought I was cis?

I get asked a lot what does intersex mean. Well, it can mean a lot of different things for people. “Intersex people are individuals born with any of several variations in sex characteristics including chromosomes, gonads, sex hormones, or genitals that, according to the UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights, do not fit the typical definitions for male or female bodies.”(Wikipedia) So people ask what does that mean for me? Well, I’m a girl with XXY chromosomes and ovaries and if my body was to be dug up in 300 years they would look at my bones to tell my sex and my bones would indicate that I was female.  Another question I get asked is what parts do I have or if I have both. Well! That is not a respectful question to ask because it doesn’t matter what I got between my legs — it’s between me, my doctor and my partner at the time. No, you can’t tell if someone is intersex, and you shouldn’t treat them like a toy or anything other than a human being. At the end of the day be yourself, live your life, and love like crazy. ~ Gean

Winter time

My second favorite season would have to be winter. Why, you may ask?   Well, I love how the snow sparkles and clings to the trees making it look like a Winter Wonderland outside my window each morning. Winter for me is about fresh starts and making memories with the ones you love. Building snowmen, skiing, and sledding,! But most of all time spent with friends and family. Getting cozy up by fire with some oh so good hot cocoa and putting up the Christmas decorations while music plays in the background. Baking delicious treats all month long. Winter! It brings families together far and wide while Time stands still. One of my favorite things is to put on cozy sweaters and dance in the snow all season long. I wish you all a wonderful Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a great New Year! ~ Gean

Beautiful in my skin

I try to remind myself it’s okay not to be perfect. One of my biggest fears was posting a pic without makeup. Don’t get me wrong I love make up it’s fun to do. I finally realized how crazy that sounds though. So here I am with my red skin, blemishes, and my weird freckles. I think social media has become such a strong place for self image but also it’s not portraying a real one. It’s time for empowerment to embrace your insecurities. To truly love and accept yourself for all that you are because nobody’s perfect. We all get old, we all get acne, we all have those days. I think I deserve to eat chocolate and break out or to spend the day reading books I love. It’s ok to not be perfect. It’s kind of overrated. At the end of the day those things make me who I am – raw, real and beautiful. ~Gean

A Bright Autumn morning

“Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumntree.” “Notice that autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.” “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” “I hope I can be the autumn leaf, who looked at the sky and lived.

Moving on

Moving on is hard in so many ways, especially when moving on from a loved one. I was in love. I had it all. So I thought I was happy. I was free and I was comfortable for the first time in a long time. I had a friend and I had a companion and I had a boyfriend. He was Good. He was smart, spontaneous, funny, sarcastic, had a smile that could light up the whole room. I felt like the most beautiful person in the world. He made me feel beautiful in my skin.  He made me laugh harder than I have ever laughed. He was my first love, and he was my first in a lot of ways. Truthfully, I don’t know where it went wrong, or where I went downhill, or where we lost connection. I went into a deep depression to be honest and it was hard. Being in a relationship, of course, there’s going to be intimacy. And that brought out so many good things but it also brought out things I push deep, deep down and locked away. I am a survivor of sexual abuse and that’s not easy to say. You go through a lot physically and mentally being sexually abused, but you also go through a lot being intersex and trans with your body image with your insecurities and then with society on top of that. I have insecurities like everybody else. I have things I want to change, I have stretch marks. I have acne. I have bruises and I have scars. But all mountains have cracks and holes but it’s still standing at the end. The relationship ended with the both parties agreeing it was the end. It wasn’t a fight. It wasn’t that I got broken up with, or he didn’t get broken up with. We broke up with each other we decided and agreed that our roads weren’t going on the same path anymore and that’s OK. Some days I feel like I’m on top of the world. And then some days I remember the great memories we had, and his smile, and the way he made me feel, and I miss him. I’m healing and changing and growing. And I got to move on. A part of me is sad about moving on and letting go. I have to climb the mountain to see the view.  I’m on the path of healing. It’s not easy, it’s not hard, it’s a journey like anything else. But I am not alone. I am loved. I am cared for. I am strong. I am proud of my scars and my bruises. I am proud to be the woman I am today. So in the end break ups are hard. Break ups change you. You find love again and you begin a new you. Write a new chapter in this book we call life and that’s what I’m going to do. But if you’re reading this, I love you. And I’ll always love you and thank you for all the wonderful times. I wish you all the best.  I hope we can be friends. It’s not easy but life is a journey. ~ Gean

This is me

My name is Gean.  I’m 21 and a small town girl. I love the outdoors and having the cozy sunshine on my face. I enjoy photography, reading, and going on adventures though life. I’m an old soul who has been around for awhile who has seen the most beautiful moments in life, and the saddest too. I go on. I climb the hardest mountains even when people say I don’t have any experience or I’m not gonna make it. I will always learn from my mistakes, get up, and try again because I know one day I will be at the top of that mountain.   I’ll be looking over the world and seeing what a beautiful and wonderful view it is, and what a beautiful adventure it was to get there. So never give up on your dreams, be yourself, and live life with love, peace and happiness.