Finding the right ones

As a intersex woman, finding or getting into a relationship is a little hard at times. There are 4 types of guys I always come across. 
1.   The guy that just wants to experiment and find out what he wants, but in the meantime not really taking your feelings into consideration.
2.   The guy that wants you to be a secret or a down low relationship, and this guy is typically married or has a girlfriend. 
3.   The guy that views it as a fetish or thinks of you as a toy.
4.   Last but not least, the good guy. Now this guy is out there, but sometimes you can’t see him even if he is right in front of you.   
You’ve been though all the other guys so now you just believe all guys are the same. Or you have a really specific type.  That is all good, but nobody is perfect and you are probably never going to find the right guy that has 100% of everything you want and need. If you do find that guy he is either pretending or hiding something.
But… if you do find the ultimate guy of your dreams, good for you girl!  And like can you help a sister out here?  
I think everyone goes through challenges when getting or finding that person to connect with no matter the gender, race and so on.  Just at the end of the day, don’t sacrifice parts of yourself to get the guy, or try to make someone like you.   Because we are all perfect as we are no matter what.

Quotes of mine

“My eyes are the camera and my life is a movie. I’m going to make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Gean

“Life is too beautiful so just lay in the sun, drink lemonade, go skinny-dipping and live your life baby.” ~ Gean

“Sometimes your imagination lets you see what can’t be seen through the eyes of reality.”-Gean

“Art can teach everything from compassion to love..it can tell stories..memories..it can form the future —art, there is no explanation or title..it follows” -Gean

This is me

It’s 2019 and for years I’ve been so afraid of making my story public on social media or to anyone that doesn’t know me personally. However, I’m finally at a place in my life where i love who I am and how far i have come. I’m intersex and being intersex has given me a life much more difficult but in many more ways wonderful then I thought it would. I’ve finally come to a place of peace and true happiness in myself. I’m sorry to anyone that I’ve upset from this, I wish I could have been open from the start, but no one (unless you’re intersex / trans) could truly understand what it’s like to live a day in our lives. I really hope that anyone I may have offended/ hurt finds it in their hearts to forgive me, this has been one of the hardest things to overcome personally. Anyway, it now out there, unfollow me if you wish or you can keep up with my crazy wonderful journey of being a proud intersex woman. I love you all! 💕

Life’s Little Laughs

I wanted to go get another plant for my room, so my mom and I went to the store to get one the next day. I picked out a long and beautiful green Ivy plant. As we arrived at checkout my mom begins to pay for it. All of a sudden she pulls out her VA card and says, “This is my VA card. It’s for my prescriptions.” The cashier just gave a weird but understanding look at my mom. So as my mom finished paying (with a real credit card) the cashier says, “You know, if you fill out a form about being a VA veteran you can get a discount.” My mom stops to think and replies, “Oh, OK.” Then we head out the Magic doors that open as you arrive. Later, laughing with my mom about the awkward moment of pulling out her VA card, I start to understand what she was trying to say: Can I get a discount from me showing my VA card like I do at other stores or restaurants. So anyway, going places with my mom can be an adventure, or just really time consuming. But in the end I at least have a bag full of new stuff. So, yeah, love shopping with my mom.

~ Gean

Good Morning

One of my favorite things in the morning is to have a nice cup of iced coffee. Many people have different styles of coffee in the morning. I like to have ice with cream and sugar in my coffee. One of my favorite quotes to remember every morning is “Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain… To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices – today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it.”~ Kevyn Aucoin

☕️

All things glittery on a cold winter’s night

Mom and I are suckers this time of year for all things glittery, shiny, musical, and anything goodwill that reeks of Christmas.  We’re also suckers for small furry creatures without homes.

So, Mom decides to feed the neighborhood feral cats.  According to her, it is hard for them to forage for themselves in below freezing temps.  That all of their food supply hunkers down when it snows and ices up.  Now I’m thinking sensible rodents need to eat too, so obviously they can’t be all hunkered down and hidden from starving cats.  But hey, I’m not going argue.

Got to admit I enjoy watching the poor, cold, skinny cats that come to feast at our garage door.  They sit and stare at us through glittery Christmas windows with death glares while awaiting their meal.

But there’s this one special cat, not a feral, but one that has lived far too long at the local rescue shelter.  A pretty kitty, an adult female with watchful eyes that defines the word introvert.  Gem is aptly named, and Mom and I have debated seriously over the possibility of adopting her for about 3 months.  Gem has lived at the shelter for almost 1-1/2 years.  Came in very pregnant and starving.  Her babies lived, were adopted, and there Gem stayed to calmly watch many more adult, adolescent, and baby cats snatched with love and carried off to their furever homes.

We decided, it’s Christmas.  If we’re going to do this, we need to do it before the Holidays.  So, we did.  Already have three cats, all rescues in their time.  But you know, the four of them now seem to get along quite well.  Curious about the new girl, yes, but calmly accepting of her as she is them.  We won’t discuss the role of our two dogs in this new family arrangement.

So, yeah, I think it was the right move.  We have brought a soft and gentle creature without a home into ours.  If she is not outwardly appreciative, at least she doesn’t bite, and seems to accept it all.  Mom says she’ll become more trustful with time.  OK.  Tell that to the dogs.  We are all feeling good about ourselves today.  Very Christmasy.

And then suddenly Mom is crying.  Her cousin died this weekend.  I’m thinking rotten news for his family this Christmas.  And his family is massive.  This small, quiet, faithful man who proceeded to work and care for not only his biological children, but literally dozens of foster children that at one point were out there alone in the cold.

Some had families that they eventually were reunited with.  A lot did not.  This man and his wife adopted over a dozen children over 40+ years of marriage.  They brought those children who were thrown into foster care, some feral, some shy, into a warm and loving forever home.

There are grandchildren now, and Christmas at their modest house is simple, but filled with all things love and lot’s and lot’s of family.  I can’t think of anything more shiny and glittery than that.  I love you, Mom’s cousin that I never met, and I am humbled.  And I wish for you the best Christmas that you have ever had.  Pretty sure God rocks it!

~ Gean